New fundraising community under "construction"

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Celebrate the National Day of Listening on November 27, 2009

On Friday (that is, the day after Thanksgiving), each of us is encouraged to spend an hour recording interviews with loved ones, and preserve them for generations to come.

It's called the National Day of Listening -- friends and family are likely to be together and able to spend an hour honoring one another by listening. What a great idea to take time to tell people that their lives matter and that they won’t ever be forgotten. Interview a loved one or a community member whom you would like to honor—your grandfather, your aunt, a neighbor, a mentor, a veteran, or an old friend.

What a great gift to the future -- passing on a loved one's story to those who are too young (or not yet born!) to ask for themselves.

There's a complete do-it-yourself guide that details how to choose who to interview, prepare for the interview by creating a list of questions, and then record and save the interview. Here are just a few examples of questions:

• What was the happiest moment of your life?


• What are you most proud of?


• What are the most important lessons you've learned in life?


• What is your earliest memory?


• How would you like to be remembered?

There are dozens of great questions like these on the site. Some are especially designed by relationship (grandparents, parents, spouse/partner, siblings, friends, older community members); others cover various life stages and personal topics (growing up, working, religion, love and relationships, school, marriage, raising children, serious illness, family heritage, war).

Here's a video that describes the process:



The National Day of Listening is a project of StoryCorps and its partners: NPR, the American Library Association, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and the Corporation for National and Community Service/Americorps.

Sad day for marriage equality. But now I'm moving on to the next skirmish.

So the people of Maine have voted. And 53% get to take away the civil liberties of a minority.

Deja vu, all over again. In October 2008, my husband and I got married. We had made huge (for us) contributions to the No on 8 campaign. I worked my heart out as a volunteer on that one -- can't even guess how many phone calls I made. Then, it was just a year ago today that we went to the polls in California. Election day was spent staffing a "get-out-the-vote" hub. Woke up the next morning to find that Prop 8 passed, also with a slim majority.

I remember the hurt. I remember the tears. I remember the anger.

And today, I feel it all over again.

Last year, the election results awakened me, motivated me to become much more involved in my community at an unprecedented level. The results from Maine simply reinvigorate that commitment.

I still do not understand how equality can be put to a popular vote. The majority MUST not define the rights of a minority. That's the real outrage. Time after time, my rights and full equality under the law are being put to a popular vote.

Now the fault-finding and finger-pointing will begin. Sure, I'm filled with anger at the National Organization for Marriage and the Catholic church. And at a President who could have said something and didn't. But hold on a minute.

Based on the numbers, voters at the polls in Maine voted against their gay family and friends. How? Why? Is it really possible that all of those people voted to strip rights away from LGBT friends? Could they really have voted against people they love? I can't believe that.

I believe that, when people know us, it's far more difficult to vote against us. Which is why my own community -- despite the temptation of blaming others -- really needs to examine itself. Harvey Milk told us years ago: "Come out, come out, wherever you are." We’re a community; we need to act more like a community. Until we really start caring about what happens to each and every one of us, nothing will change for any of us.

We need to continue to reach out so that real people get to know the real us. Now is not the time to fight hate with hate. Hearts and minds are changed through honest, heartfelt discussion. I believe this. I must believe this.

It's time to reveal ourselves as the love-filled people we are. Let them know us. One-by-one. Face-to-face.

Yes, hurt, tearful, and angered. And the fight will go on.

USA TODAY launches online community, "Kindness: New Ways We Give and Volunteer"

We could joke and call it Philanthropy-Light. Or Giving-Digest. But our nation's top-selling newspaper has launched its newest online community, and its theme is charity, good causes, giving, and giving back.

No small audience: the print and online editions of USA TODAY reach more than 5 million a day. Here's how they're positioning the online community:

Kindness is your daily source of inspiration and guide to making a difference in fresh and exciting ways, no matter where you are. Each day, this site will unearth unique stories of giving with exclusive interviews, fresh takes on news stories, plenty of tips, and links to interesting resources. But we're also building a community, and we look forward to hearing from you.

The community can be found here. You can see a lot there, but of course, you have to register and all that to participate in commenting, connecting, blogging, posting in (or creating) forums ... the usual social networking stuff. But it's all under the USA TODAY brand. No doubt there will be an on-going promotion of it. Who knows? Maybe it will become a generalized philanthropy portal for those who are interested, attracting donors and organizations alike.

(USA TODAY also published its third annual philanthropy section in the newspaper, entitled "Sharing in the USA.")

Marriage Equality: One Year Later

One year ago this weekend, I was married to my partner of 23 years. I'm celebrating this first anniversary, feeling joy, anger, disappointment, and hope.

Joy, because I am married to a wonderful man with so much love to share.

Anger, because of last year's Prop 8 election result, and the California Supreme Court's subsequent upholding of the stripping away of a right from a group, because a slim majority of the public wanted it so.

Disappointment, because while I am still legally married (the Court didn't nullify my marriage), I feel a bit like a freed slave. I have my rights, but my brothers and sisters in my community don't have theirs.

And hope. Hope, because today is Coming Out Day and tomorrow, thousands will march in Washington and elsewhere, for equality ... demanding equal protection in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states.

If you want to see what a gay wedding looks like (well, my gay wedding anyway), click on the video links below.


Part 1 is the ceremony.


Part 2 is the reception.

Moving and ordinary at the same time. I've been married one year as of Sunday, October 11. And the world hasn't wobbled off of its axis. The sanctity, validity, and meaning of hetero-marriages in California weren't threatened by my marriage.

Glad to celebrate. Sad that others don't have the same right.

Equal protection, as guaranteed under the 14th Amendment. We will accept no less and will work until it is achieved. We should not have to beg or bargain for the right to work our jobs and go to school free of harassment and discrimination, the right to safety in our daily lives, the right to equitable healthcare, the right to marry, and the right to serve in the military openly.

Community Centers Change Lives

Bet you didn't know it, but today is LGBT Center Awareness Day. Vital services are offered by lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender community centers. I'm proud to serve as a volunteer board member for the Center in San Francisco.

LGBT community centers are the front doors to the LGBT community, and in the United States serve over 40,000 people weekly. They become the backbone of the LGBT community, reaching across metropolitan, suburban, and rural areas. Click here to find one near you.

While progress has been made, it is still challenging to "come out" in today's society. Often, people feel isolated, and don't find welcoming entree into being who they are.

Even in progressive, uber-liberal San Francisco, newcomers to the community -- whether arriving from Kansas or the City's Sunset district -- have to make their way through a confusing maze.
The San Francisco LGBT Community Center empowers those individuals to build community. Yes, San Francisco is rich with organizations and agencies serving specific needs of the LGBT community. The Center works to enable collaboration. Rather than duplicating existing services, The Center works alongside each of them, fostering connections and insuring that people in need find them.

The Center is not only a meeting place and shared headquarters space for dozens of groups (though that's important, too). It also provides activities benefiting the entire lifespan of LGBT people, from our KidSpace program (childcare for program participants) to elder services. I'm personally proud of The Center's youth support, HIV support, computer access, and economic development/business assistance efforts.

Click on any of the links to learn more, or to support the Center, click here.

And tell someone you know that today is LGBT Center Awareness Day!