USA TODAY launches online community, "Kindness: New Ways We Give and Volunteer"

We could joke and call it Philanthropy-Light. Or Giving-Digest. But our nation's top-selling newspaper has launched its newest online community, and its theme is charity, good causes, giving, and giving back.

No small audience: the print and online editions of USA TODAY reach more than 5 million a day. Here's how they're positioning the online community:

Kindness is your daily source of inspiration and guide to making a difference in fresh and exciting ways, no matter where you are. Each day, this site will unearth unique stories of giving with exclusive interviews, fresh takes on news stories, plenty of tips, and links to interesting resources. But we're also building a community, and we look forward to hearing from you.

The community can be found here. You can see a lot there, but of course, you have to register and all that to participate in commenting, connecting, blogging, posting in (or creating) forums ... the usual social networking stuff. But it's all under the USA TODAY brand. No doubt there will be an on-going promotion of it. Who knows? Maybe it will become a generalized philanthropy portal for those who are interested, attracting donors and organizations alike.

(USA TODAY also published its third annual philanthropy section in the newspaper, entitled "Sharing in the USA.")

Saying "No" to people you can't say "No" to

We seldom have the flexibility to bluntly say no to many people. Like a boss. Or a key client. Or a family member. Yesterday, I was on a call getting some advice from a guy named Michael Bungay Stanier; he runs a company called Box of Crayons that works with organizations to help them do less Good Work and more Great Work. I really like his philosophy and his stuff.

When dealing with people you can't say "No" to, Michael's advice which I'm broadly paraphrasing here, is: Say "yes" more slowly.

What gets us in trouble is how quickly we relent and say yes. That often means we say yes to something that's not aligned with our own plans, leaving no time for us to say yes to things that are aligned. We deprive ourselves of giving ourselves the time, space, and focus to do what matters for us. And then we're angry that we said yes (or felt like we couldn't say no).

So, you might ask: How do you do say yes more slowly? Basically, it's by asking lots of questions.

"Thanks for asking me to do that, but ...

"Can I ask why you asked me?"

"When you say it's urgent, what does that mean for you?"

"What does success look like for this?"

"If I had to do this at an adequate level instead of an excellent level, what would that be?"

"If I could only do part of this, and not the whole of it, what part would you want me to focus on?"

"If I were take this on, what other things that I've agreed to do for you could be stopped, so that I have the time and space to do what you're asking me now?"

Of course, you can't do this all the time. But when you go through questioning like this, one of several things happens:

1. When you do actually say yes, you've said yes to something more clear, defined, and specific. So, you don't have to overwork it or do the wrong thing or do it faster than necessary.

2. Sometimes, the questioning results in negotiation, so you end up doing something far different than what was originally asked.

3. Sometimes, the person asking says, "You know what? I don't know the answers to those questions. Let me go away and figure that out. And then I'll come back to you." And then, often as not, they don't come back.

4. Sometimes, they say, to them selves, "This questioning is too much like hard work. I'm going to go find someone who will say yes more quickly."

5. Sometimes, in future, the person will be more careful about asking you to do things, and will come better prepared to articulate what they really want.

It won't work all the time, of course, but it's worth a try! Isn't that great advice? Thanks Michael.

Who Cares?

Well, it happened again yesterday. An organization sent me a solicitation. And they told less than half the story. As it happens, I know quite a bit about this organization. I've done some work for them (but either not enough yet or not with the right people!)

They have a story to tell, for sure. But they have the same blindspot many organizations have. It comes from assuming that, because you care passionately about your cause, because you eat-breathe-and-live your mission 24/7, others will automatically "get it." And from there, you're just one step away from feeling that the importance of your work is self-evident, even universally embraced. In fact -- everyone "should" know and appreciate our work.

So, copywriters get a little lazy in writing. In old marketing-speak terms, they write all the features but leave out the benefits.

In this case, the communication was blaring news: "We've just funded $xx million in research!" They went on to point out that this amount funded a certain number of scientists, and they listed the names and institutional affiliations of them. And I'm sure they're very proud of this accomplishment.

But unless I really understand your organization and how it conducts its work, this factoid will not pierce my consciousness. It will be almost impossible for me not to tune out before deciphering for myself why your work matters.

In an exercise I conduct in some trainings, I'll have participants name their most significant mission outcome of the past year. They'll say something like "We held our first health symposium and reached x,000 professionals by launching our RIP initiative." {And notice that the first reference almost always includes an internal acronym.}

When I ask, "So what?" the participant looks wounded or angry, as though I've questioned the sanctity of motherhood. But once they think and try to answer, they'll say, "Well, those health professionals will now present classes in workplace programs."

"So what?" I'll insist on asking. "Well, those trainers will each reach over x00 others, and they'll now know what to do in an emergency." And they'll be pleased with themselves.

Until I ask, "So what?" again. Sometimes it takes four or five iterations before they'll get to the benefit, which might be something like: "Our community is a safer place to live in!! Now that xx,000 people have been trained to know what to do in an emergency through our Really Important Program initiative, the chance that you'll be near help when you need it is increased dramatically, more than 100 fold than before the program."

This simple exercise can help you understand how others view your program and impact. When you challenge statements in your appeals with the "So what?" query, especially statements with metrics, you'll dig down to the core benefit that gives people the real reason to care.

It really gets down to reminding yourself of WHY you're doing the program (its purpose) and focusing less on HOW you're doing it or HOW MANY you've reached (at the tactical level of your plan).

End note: This advice is similar to the old saw, "Answer the question: What's in it for me." I find this a bit jaded, because it prejudges people as having no ability to appreciate a cause unless it personally serves them. The "So What?" alternative allows people to understand why your work matters -- why it counts -- even if they aren't personally affected.