Personal blindspots: Doing what's in front of me to do, NOW

Confession time: There is part of me that LIKES complicated. The first time I heard about the KISS principle (the acronym meaning "Keep It Simple Stupid"), I HATED the idea.

I mean, I do get it in concept. Even I don't want to get bogged down in detail, or pursue the rabbit trail toward needless complexity.

But we've got a complicated world to deal with. It moves fast, and we try to tame it by creating process to codify and standardize.

My temperment naturally tips toward complicated over simple. Give me the chance, and I'll tend to create a flowchart or multi-step approach to address the most basic issues. But time and again, I'm reminded ... often painfully ... that simple and direct is better.

And it's taken me years to understand why that is.

Too often, my first impulse is to create a new system, invent a new rule, form a new standard. Too often that urge is, in reality, a ... (wait, I'm about to get the words out): ... a delaying tactic. There, I've said it.

For example, now is the right time to approach a likely supporter and say:

We're working on an issue/problem you care about. Here's how we approach our top priorities. Will you join in our cause?

Instead I'm tempted to say "a little more research is needed," "let's do one more cultivation move," or "today might not be the best time so let's wait for a few weeks."

Over the years, I've taught myself to catch myself doing this, and I usually do. Long ago I pledged that I would attend no more meetings with prospects where, at the end, the prospect is left to wonder "why didn't they ask?"

But my personal blindspot becomes glaring when I see it manifested in others. (Isn't that always the way?)

So ...

One of the best values I offer to others in my consulting is to be hyper-sensitive to delaying tactics, no matter how cleverly disguised or manifested. I'm always pressing to get people to admit that the time is now. My magic question: "What is it that we need to know about this person's ability or interests or motivation, that can be known, before we can make the ask?" Almost always, their answer: "Nothing." The inescapable conclusion: it is time to ask.

It sounds obvious.

But, clever procrastinators that we are, we can almost always find an expert reference from "the book" that says that we should cultivate before asking. So it always seems easier to cultivate, cultivate, cultivate, cultivate ad nauseum.

After stripping away all the excuses, we're left with a classic case of call reluctance. Get over it!

Too many opportunities are missed because we get wrapped up in procedures that we've created as stalling tactics in the name of building relationship. And then we fail to recognize that the moment is right. Done right, asking for the gift is the BEST way to build relationship. 99 times out of 100, the time to ask is NOW.