Sad day for marriage equality. But now I'm moving on to the next skirmish.

So the people of Maine have voted. And 53% get to take away the civil liberties of a minority.

Deja vu, all over again. In October 2008, my husband and I got married. We had made huge (for us) contributions to the No on 8 campaign. I worked my heart out as a volunteer on that one -- can't even guess how many phone calls I made. Then, it was just a year ago today that we went to the polls in California. Election day was spent staffing a "get-out-the-vote" hub. Woke up the next morning to find that Prop 8 passed, also with a slim majority.

I remember the hurt. I remember the tears. I remember the anger.

And today, I feel it all over again.

Last year, the election results awakened me, motivated me to become much more involved in my community at an unprecedented level. The results from Maine simply reinvigorate that commitment.

I still do not understand how equality can be put to a popular vote. The majority MUST not define the rights of a minority. That's the real outrage. Time after time, my rights and full equality under the law are being put to a popular vote.

Now the fault-finding and finger-pointing will begin. Sure, I'm filled with anger at the National Organization for Marriage and the Catholic church. And at a President who could have said something and didn't. But hold on a minute.

Based on the numbers, voters at the polls in Maine voted against their gay family and friends. How? Why? Is it really possible that all of those people voted to strip rights away from LGBT friends? Could they really have voted against people they love? I can't believe that.

I believe that, when people know us, it's far more difficult to vote against us. Which is why my own community -- despite the temptation of blaming others -- really needs to examine itself. Harvey Milk told us years ago: "Come out, come out, wherever you are." We’re a community; we need to act more like a community. Until we really start caring about what happens to each and every one of us, nothing will change for any of us.

We need to continue to reach out so that real people get to know the real us. Now is not the time to fight hate with hate. Hearts and minds are changed through honest, heartfelt discussion. I believe this. I must believe this.

It's time to reveal ourselves as the love-filled people we are. Let them know us. One-by-one. Face-to-face.

Yes, hurt, tearful, and angered. And the fight will go on.